I’m tired. Feeling worn down. Drained. I need a new vibration to adhere to.
I’ve been turning to focus on healing past sexual trauma in my life, and now I just feel a deep need to rest. How do I stop trying to be perfect?
I decided to start writing poetry again. I used to write all the time. Since I was 9, whenever I was upset or feeling strong emotion I would go to my backyard and sing my heart out – creating a song on the spot. When I was in high school I did 100poemsin100days on Livejournal, 1 ½ times.
After my dark night I almost stopped writing altogether.
I’ve written a few stray poems over the past few years, but I’m still re-learning how to give voice to those tender parts of me. So much is shielded; too much trauma. I intend to release it.
I see a black coil in my abdomen. Reaching in I pull it up, out of my throat. I roll it around in my hands, creating a sphere. Back to Pachamama, to Mother Earth, may You cleanse me. I throw the dark sphere down, into the Earth it returns. Nutrients for Her soul, everything that no longer serves me. May love and light surround me.
I’ll be okay.