Prayers

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I’m tired. Feeling worn down. Drained. I need a new vibration to adhere to.

I’ve been turning to focus on healing past sexual trauma in my life, and now I just feel a deep need to rest. How do I stop trying to be perfect?

I decided to start writing poetry again. I used to write all the time. Since I was 9, whenever I was upset or feeling strong emotion I would go to my backyard and sing my heart out – creating a song on the spot. When I was in high school I did 100poemsin100days on Livejournal, 1 ½ times.

After my dark night I almost stopped writing altogether.

I’ve written a few stray poems over the past few years, but I’m still re-learning how to give voice to those tender parts of me. So much is shielded; too much trauma. I intend to release it.

I see a black coil in my abdomen. Reaching in I pull it up, out of my throat. I roll it around in my hands, creating a sphere. Back to Pachamama, to Mother Earth, may You cleanse me. I throw the dark sphere down, into the Earth it returns. Nutrients for Her soul, everything that no longer serves me. May love and light surround me.

Inhale.

Exhale.

I’ll be okay.

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