Toxic levels of smoke have filled the air of my city. Our neighboring town of Paradise was destroyed by the Camp Fire exactly one week ago. Headlines like “Paradise: Lost” and “Butte Camp Fire now deadliest in California history” have been flooding the news. While my home and family is safe, the entire community is experiencing the traumatic reverberations of great loss.
The day of the fire I spent at work, nervously checking the news every half hour to see if it had spread down to us. My co-worker from Paradise had been evacuated and brought his kid and dog to the office. He ended up losing his home, like so many others. The entire town was gone by evening.
That night me and my boyfriend left town at 11:30 pm out of precaution. I had spent hours debating what to do, but when an evacuation order was given just a few miles down the rode the anxiety really struck. My best friend was calling and telling me I needed to leave NOW. Her fear infected me, and I finally convinced my calm-headed boyfriend that it was time to go. We spent the weekend in the bay area. Our town was safe, the evacuation order near my house was lifted. I had Monday off, but have been working every day since.
The air isn’t safe to breathe, but I have an N95 mask and still have my home, so I’m lucky. There are so many horror stories. I can’t imagine what the experience was like for those that went through the fire, got stuck in traffic while it was raging around them…. I can’t comprehend. It looks like an apocalypse scene from the pictures.
I know there will be balance in this. I know many will Awaken due to the darkness they experienced. I have to hold this knowledge in my heart whenever it feels like too much.
I can’t see how this will play out, but I can trust the same things I trust when the skies are clear. I can trust that this is leading to greater light. I can trust that the fire will serve us. That nothing is ever against us. Pachamama is here to Nuture us. Mamakilla is here to Purify us. Wiracocha is here to Inspire us. Inti is here to Strengthen us. This has not changed. We will all unite.
After a time away from studying the Pachakuti Mesa Tradition I dove in yesterday to teachings on Mamakilla, Mother Moon, element of water, reigning over the emotional body and heart center. We need her now. We need her soft glow to heal our hearts. We need her water to rain down upon us, to purify this land of smoke and fire.
I didn’t realize the blockages I had. I didn’t see how much I had been holding great Mother Moon away from me, but after the teachings last night I had a dream. I was admiring a dolphin, spirit animal associated with Mamakilla. She was in a bag, just big enough to fit her body and some water. She had been captured.
After initially marveling at a dolphin up close I felt sorrow, and realized she needed released. I picked her up and began carrying her. I was taking her back to the ocean. I awoke as I set her free.
It is time for Dolphin’s return. It is time to heal our emotional bodies, to cleanse our hearts and reach out in love. I may have been keeping this part of me captive, but I understand now. She is ready to be set free and unite with her home in the sacred ocean of our hearts.
Much love to every one impacted by the Camp Fire, and all of the fires burning out there in the world. May we grow stronger from this. I pray now to heal, to balance, to unite in Love and Light. May all beings find peace ❤